Day of Hope #140 - Tuesday August 13, 2024
Goal: Face some difficult emotions, continue healing from my past, and remind myself that I can move forward without forgetting where I've been.
Quote: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” – Rumi
Today I'm Doing Something Hard
This Day of Hope was different. I wasn't planning a spa day, a road trip, or an afternoon exploring somewhere new. I was planning to do something that I knew might hurt. Emotionally, that is.
I had decided to see a movie called It Ends with Us, starring Blake Lively. I knew enough about the story to understand that it involved domestic violence. And I knew it would probably bring up some difficult memories from my own past. But I also felt like I needed to see it. Sometimes healing means doing something uncomfortable.
Sometimes it means facing emotions you would rather avoid. And sometimes it means sitting in a dark movie theater with a big bucket of popcorn, hoping you remembered to bring enough tissues. I wasn't entirely sure how the day would go. But I was willing to find out.
A Slow Morning Before an Emotional Afternoon
I started my morning by sleeping in. I really needed the rest. I got up around 9:00 a.m. and took my time getting ready. I was still feeling a little emotionally unsettled, and I hoped that giving myself the day to reflect might help.
I wasn't trying to rush through anything. I wanted to allow myself whatever emotions came up. Because this Day of Hope wasn't about escaping my life. It was about understanding another part of it.
It Ends with Us
The first movie I saw was It Ends with Us. I knew the story dealt with domestic violence, but I hadn't realized just how much it would affect me. The main character, Lily, grows up witnessing violence in her family. As an adult, she falls in love with a man who eventually becomes physically abusive toward her. She loves him. She sees the good in him. She understands that he has experienced trauma of his own. And for a while, she struggles to recognize the pattern repeating itself.
Watching that unfold was difficult. Because sometimes when you're inside a relationship, you don't see things as clearly as someone looking in from the outside. You see the person you love. You remember the good moments. You want to believe things will get better. And you may find yourself making excuses for behavior you would never want someone you love to experience.
The movie brought up a lot of emotions for me. Sadness. Anger. Understanding. And memories I hadn't expected to revisit. But one particular scene really stayed with me. Breaking the Cycle Toward the end of the movie, Lily has a daughter. The man who hurt her wants to repair their relationship.
And instead of simply returning to him, she asks him to imagine something. What if their daughter came to him someday and said her boyfriend had hurt her? What if she said he didn't mean to do it? What if she said she loved him and wanted to stay? Would he want that for his daughter? Of course not.
And in that moment, Lily makes a different decision. She chooses to end the relationship. She chooses to break the cycle. That scene hit me hard. Because sometimes we accept things for ourselves that we would never want for our children. We make excuses. We minimize what happened. We convince ourselves we can handle it.
But when we imagine someone we love experiencing the same thing, suddenly everything becomes clearer. I found myself feeling both heartbroken and hopeful. Heartbroken for everything the characters had experienced. And hopeful because Lily chose a different future.
She couldn't change what had happened. But she could decide what happened next. I left that movie feeling emotional. Part of me wanted to cry. And part of me wanted to celebrate. Because there is something incredibly powerful about realizing that your past does not have to become your future.
And Then I Went to See a Kids' Movie
After that emotional experience, I decided I needed something lighter. So I went to see Inside Out 2. A kids' movie. Perfect! A little laughter, some cute animated characters, and a break from all those heavy emotions. Right? Well... Apparently, my emotions had other plans. Ha! Because somehow, that movie affected me just as much. Maybe even more.
Inside Out 2: All the Emotions Matter
If you haven't seen Inside Out, the movies explore the different emotions living inside a young girl's mind. Joy. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. And in the second movie, several new emotions arrive, including Anxiety.
What I found fascinating was how the story showed the importance of all our emotions. Not just the happy ones. For so much of my life, I had tried to focus on being positive. Finding the good. Moving forward. Being strong. And those things are important. But the movie reminded me that we aren't supposed to feel happy all the time. We aren't supposed to erase every difficult memory.
And we certainly aren't supposed to pretend the painful parts of our lives never happened. All our experiences help shape who we become. The good ones. The difficult ones. The embarrassing ones. The heartbreaking ones. Even the ones we wish we could forget. And sometimes the emotions we try hardest to push away are the ones trying to teach us something.
Anxiety Doesn't Get to Drive
One of the biggest messages I took away from Inside Out 2 was about anxiety. Anxiety isn't necessarily a bad emotion. It can help us prepare. It can alert us to potential problems. It can encourage us to think ahead. But it can also take over.
It can convince us that something terrible is going to happen simply because something terrible could happen. And that's where we have to be careful. Because just because something bad happened in the past doesn't mean it will happen again.
And just because something could go wrong in the future doesn't mean it will. We can learn from fear without allowing fear to make every decision. That really stayed with me. I had experienced difficult things in my life. Things that changed me. Things that made me more cautious. Things that sometimes caused me to question myself or worry about what might happen next.
But I didn't want those experiences to keep me from living. I wanted to use what I had learned. Trust myself. And keep moving forward. Even when I was afraid.
Maybe Being Broken Is Okay
By the time I finished both movies, I had a lot to think about. I had gone into the day expecting It Ends with Us to be the emotional one. I hadn't expected an animated movie to make me reflect so deeply on my life.
But together, they gave me a message I needed. I don't have to forget my past to heal from it. And I don't have to pretend every part of my life has been wonderful. Some things hurt. Some things changed me. Some things left scars. But those experiences are part of my story. And I can acknowledge them without letting them define everything about me.
I found myself thinking about what it means to feel broken. Maybe the goal isn't to erase every crack or pretend they were never there. Maybe the goal is to become comfortable with the fact that life has changed us. To accept ourselves. To recognize how far we've come. And to understand that we can still experience happiness, love, excitement, and hope.
You can have painful memories and still create a beautiful future. Both things can be true.
A Quiet Evening to Process It All
After the movies, I decided to head home. I didn't need a busy evening. I needed some quiet. I made myself a healthy sausage and spinach salad for dinner. Then I took a wonderful hour-long Epsom salt bath. I spent time meditating and using my tapping app to help settle my emotions. And I went to bed early.
It had been an emotional day. But it had also been a meaningful one. I was proud of myself for choosing to face something difficult rather than avoiding it. And I was grateful that I had given myself the time and space to process what I was feeling.
Sometimes a Day of Hope is about having fun. Other times, it's about giving yourself permission to feel. Both are important.
Bonus: Hopes Highways Is Getting Noticed!
There were also some wonderful things happening with Hopes Highways this month. My book continued gaining attention, and I was busy with book signings and opportunities to share my story.
One particularly exciting moment was seeing a feature article about me and A Day of Hope in Greet Eagle magazine. My boyfriend had written the article, and it was distributed throughout Eagle. Thousands of people had the opportunity to learn about my story and the message behind Hopes Highways. How amazing is that?
It was still surreal to see my name, my book, and my business being shared with so many people. I had spent years writing about my Days of Hope. Now I was meeting people who were interested in creating their own. I loved watching things unfold. And I was excited to see where this journey would lead next.
Bonus: Taking Care of My Light
I also had another Reiki healing session this month. The message focused on the connection between my heart, my inner knowing, and my creativity. It described those parts of me as working together. My heart helped guide the words. My intuition helped me recognize what felt true. And my hands helped turn those ideas into something I could share with the world. I loved that image.
Especially because I was spending so much time writing, creating, and building Hopes Highways. But there was also a reminder. Even a bright light needs care. The message encouraged me to continue taking care of myself so I could keep doing the things I loved.
It reminded me of something I had been learning throughout my Day of Hope journey. I couldn't keep giving from an empty place. And I couldn't expect myself to feel strong, creative, and hopeful if I wasn't taking care of my own needs. The message wasn't about doing more. It was about allowing all the different parts of myself to work together. And the experiences that had shaped me. Together, they were helping me create something meaningful.
My Lesson of Hope: Don't be afraid to acknowledge the difficult parts of your story. Healing doesn't mean forgetting what happened, pretending it didn't hurt, or forcing yourself to be happy all the time. Every emotion has something to teach us, including sadness, fear, and anxiety. Learn from your experiences, honor how far you've come, and trust yourself enough to keep moving forward. Just because something painful happened before doesn't mean it will happen again. You can carry the lessons without carrying all the fear. Your past may be part of your story, but you still get to decide what comes next.
