Day of Hope #90

Saturday June 13 – Day of Hope #90

Goal: Face one of my long-time fears

Quote: “No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock, and it still hurts very deeply.” – Billy Graham

On this Day of Hope, I did something I had been avoiding for 16 years. I gathered the courage to visit the place where my little brother took his last breath.

It wasn’t easy. For over a decade, I carried the weight of that grief silently, never ready to physically go to that spot, never prepared for what it might stir up inside me. But on this day, something shifted. I was finally ready to face it, to honor his memory not with avoidance, but with presence and I got to do it with my amazing sister Sally.

I can tell you this moment was powerful and healing. I share the full story below from my published book, A Day of Hope, Chapter 11: Passengers, on page 189. 

Facing Your Fears

One time I did a “facing your fears” day with my sister Sally on my day of hope. Sometimes we need to clean out our car (mind), so we have more room for joy.

When we decided to do this, I was sure it would be one of the most difficult days we would have. Many years before, our little brother had died in a drowning accident when he was in his early twenties. A precious life was gone in a matter of minutes. My sister and I had not visited the reservoir where it happened since he’d been gone. We decided it was finally time.

On June thirteenth, on a wonderful, sunny day, we visited the Causey Reservoir in Utah. It is a beautiful spot. We immediately knew why our brother loved it. He had been a camp counselor for kids in the summers. My sister and I sat by the water and had a glass of wine. We just sat there for a long time in silence listening to people enjoying their weekend.

There was, surprisingly, no crying. I thought we would be bawling for sure. No, we just sat there, reflecting peacefully on how we were at the last place he took a breath. We commented on how lucky we felt to be on earth and how precious life is. How grateful we both were to be breathing. How we wouldn’t waste this privilege of a life we still have. We all need to follow our passions and do what brings us joy until we leave this earth. My brother was doing what he loved and inspiring others when he took his last breath. That is what I want for my life. No more looking in the rearview mirror with regrets. I will only drive forward on my highway of hope. I will do what I love and inspire others along the way. This is my mission in life. I hope it is yours too.

My lesson of hope: We never know when it will be our time to take our last breath. That truth doesn't scare me anymore, it inspires me. I don’t want to live a life filled with regrets. I want to go doing what I love, to live fully now, and not wait for tomorrow to be great. Because today is already enough.